My Heart
by dolphinherovamp5
Summary: Heart, I wish you could give me ideas on how to make this happen. After all, you're my number one ally. If there was anything in this world that could help me succeed, it'd be you only. Honestly, you deserve a medal for hearing me complain all the time. Though, I really do hope this doesn't backfire or you're history.


_Hi there, heart. Do you hear me today? I think I met somebody – somebody incredible. You wouldn't believe it. He's got messy brown hair, wide eyes, and a smile that can light up my world. After only one day of knowing him, I think I want to spend the rest of my life together with him. You know, I want that to happen so much that I don't care where we end up. We can be living in a mansion or a shoebox. I'll be happy as long as we're together. Heart, can you hear that? I've found somebody and I know they'll accept you._

* * *

I'm a bit of the person who enjoys heart-to-hearts with myself. I don't know why, but it brings me peace to mind when I can relay all my thoughts to myself. I'm my own consular, I'd say.

But, sometimes it's a hard thing to deal with. Since I've always relied on myself for help, I don't know anybody else to talk to when the going gets too tough. So, usually at those times I feel lost and I can't find my way. To this day, I'm not sure what keeps pulling me out of these slumps. It might be the idea of brighter days. I sure love those and so does my heart.

Right now though…am I doing the right thing? Should I really share my heart with another and risk losing my closest ally? But Tsuna-kun sure is different. He might never fulfill my worst fears. He could end up completing my greatest dreams.

And yet…I hesitate now as I stare across the room at Tsuna-kun and the retarded baseball player he's with, Yamamoto. If I went over there right now, would he at least accept me as his friend? I'm starting to understand how those fan girls in our school feel. But, I'm still not going to give them the time of day, because there is only one person I wish to have. That would be Tsuna-kun of course.

So, here is my question now. How do I approach him?

* * *

_Dear, heart, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get my feelings across without making him feel uncomfortable. I mean, does a guy like that really need somebody asking him out already after a couple days at a new school? I would imagine it'd be quite troublesome. Heart, I wish you could give me ideas on how to make this happen. After all, you're my number one ally. If there was anything in this world that could help me succeed, it'd be you only. Honestly, you deserve a medal for hearing me complain all the time. Though, I really do hope this doesn't backfire or you're history._

* * *

His expression as he gets lost in the clouds during a discussion about who knows what, his milky white skin that I'm sure would be silky to the touch, and his small petite body that would fit perfectly against me. All these things are a part of Tsuna-kun and I desire them so much. I want to invite him to see a movie with him. I want to have dinner with him afterwards. I want to stand under a streetlight by his house, pressing my lips to his. But one can only dream.

The bell rings for the end of school and as people get up to leave, Tsuna-kun stays sitting, distracted by the beauty displayed outside the window. I honestly understand how it is to get lost in beauty. I have every day since the moment my eyes landed on him. He is a work of art and while he deserves to be displayed to the public, I want to keep him to myself.

This is literally driving me crazy. I must make my move soon before anybody steals him away from me. But how exactly do I manage to do that? It's not like I have the friend position advantage and am able to get close to him without everybody staring. Then again, should I care how I look when I love him so much?

Wait…I love him? I've only known him for a short time, but maybe that is an accurate description. I mean, could I really just like him? At this point, it feels ridiculous to only like him. He is my love and soul mate. So, maybe I should just do it. I should just walk up to him and ask him to go out with me.

But, what would my heart say? Would it beg me to say no so it'll never be crushed or would it let me pursue this desire I have? I wish your heart could talk to you. I think my life would be much simpler.

* * *

_After a lot of thinking, I think I've decided to just go out and ask him. I mean, who's ever won this sort of battle by just sitting around and not doing anything? I'm sure nobody has, but I still don't want you to get hurt, my dear. I know you're an organ, but you're like a best friend and that there is a precious position that I hope you stay in. Then again, do you have a choice? Even if you betray me, you'll still be the only one I can really talk to. But, what if things work out my way? We just might end up having another person in our a little mental health club._

* * *

My steps are slow and steady as I hold the love letter in my hands and hear the whispers of the girls as they try to figure out who I'll give it to. They're all guessing wrong. Can't they see that Tsuna-kun and I are meant to be together? Girls are so silly. If only they could see the love that is real between two people.

Even though I was sure my pave had been slow, I arrive to Tsuna-kun's desk sooner than I expected. All the girls gasp as they finally see this obvious love and my love looks up from his unfinished homework, giving me one of those amazing smiles. That smile could stop all wars if used on the right person. "Good morning, Gokudera-kun. How's it going?"

"Ah…ah…morning, Sawada-kun. Um, I want you to have this." I hold out the letter to him after somewhat stuttering my reply and watch as he takes it, opens it, and begins to read.

Not once does his expression change as he reads it. That's another thing I love about him. A lot of the time he lets his emotions control his appearance, but at times like these, he can keep a straight face. It worries me a little now, but I'm not worried. I know he'll accept him. He has to. We're meant to be together.

After about a minute, Tsuna-kun folds the paper back up and puts it back in the envelope before looking up at me. For a moment, his expression doesn't change, but then he gives me a small smile. This makes my light of hope brighten some. He must be feeling the relief of me asking him out. Sometimes, we can't all have to courage to spend all night writing a letter and then give it to their most beloved.

"Gokudera-kun…" Tsuna-kun begins, but then I interrupt him, knowing what he's going to say next.

"Don't worry, Sawada-kun. I knew you were too embarrassed to approach me about this and I don't mind if you were. My only wish is for you to just accept my heart."

Tsuna-kun is silent for a moment before giving me that small smile once more. "Yeah, of course." His eyes look elsewhere in the room, find something, and then turn back to me after a second. "But, there's the thing, Gokudera-kun. I'm…um…I'm not interested in you. I actually like somebody else."

At that moment, I feel my world begin to crash down, my heart breaking and shattering all over the floor. I can't believe this. My love likes somebody else? Am I not worthy to be able to spend my forever with my true love? Must I suffer in the pain or loneliness? But, who could it be that is causing this to happen?

My eyes dart across the room and stop on Yamamoto, who is looking at us with a worried look. That fucking bastard. I'll kill him for taking my Tsuna-kun away from. I begin to stomp my way over to him. That is, until Tsuna-kun quickly put himself between that home wrecker and I. "Stop it, now. That is my heart and soul over there and if you truly love me, you'll accept it and move on. Look, you don't need me. There are better guys out there and I'm not one of them."

"What are you talking about? You're the best one there is!"

"I feel flattered that you'd think I'm one of the best guys out there, but here is the truth. Take-kun and I have been together for a very long time. See, we met at Kokuyo Land when we were four and proceed to grow up together. And then, when we turned twelve, we experimented and later began to date. Look, Gokudera-kun. Take-kun and I have history and we know just about everything about each other. And when it comes to us, we know nothing about each other. I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to accept it."

"I'm not sure I ever will, because I gave my heart to you and now even my closest ally is gone." And with that, I ran from the room, not looking back.

* * *

_I'm sorry, my heart. I'm so fucking sorry. I have failed you and led you to your destruction. How long will it take to repair you? Should I just take the pieces and leave Namimori all together? But, that would mean leaving the sister I spent years trying to find and I don't want to worry. What is a guy supposed to do now? I'm lost, my heart. But, you probably can't hear me now. After all, I fucking led you to your death. I'm not sure what I can do now besides running away, despite how many it'll hurt._

* * *

And with that, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, passing all the scenery without giving it a second glance. I must not regret doing this. Otherwise, I'm not sure where I'll go. I'll probably go insane though. Just maybe. But once again, I'm sorry, my heart. Please forgive me.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Please review. :)  
****-Ashley(dolphinherovamp5)**


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